Forgiveness and the Mystery of Constant Joy

Kristy, thinking of you

I need to apologize.

I’ve been going around telling people that we can live with “constant joy.” And while I still believe that is possible, I may have made it sound much easier than it really is.

I’ve said things like:

“Just have gratitude." "Think of something you’re thankful for.”

And while gratitude truly matters, I apologize if I made it sound like those words alone could heal every wound.

Because sometimes they can’t.

Sometimes the pain runs too deep. Sometimes the hurt sits too heavily in the heart. Sometimes gratitude feels too small for the weight we are carrying.

Yesterday, during my quiet time, I felt impressed in my spirit that there is something else standing in the way of joy.

It’s something Jesus talked about often. So often, in fact, that many of us barely react to it anymore. We hear the word and almost yawn.

But what if this one thing is quietly stealing our joy? What if it is one of the greatest barriers to peace? The deeper step is this:

Forgiveness

I’ve realized that I often give people too much power over my joy.

If someone has wounded you deeply, gratitude alone can feel insufficient. Maybe gratitude was never meant to stand alone. Maybe forgiveness must walk beside it.

And I’m not only talking about forgiving a spouse, an ex-spouse, or a parent.

I’m talking about forgiving the people and systems that stir anger in us daily.

Forgiving political leaders. Forgiving people with opposing views. Forgiving the neighbor whose yard sign quietly irritates your soul every time you walk past it.

Forgiving the bitterness we carry toward those who think differently than we do.

What if we forgave them? Not because they were right. Not because the pain was imaginary. But because unforgiveness is too expensive. It costs too much joy.

I’m even talking about forgiving the ache of unanswered prayers. That may sound strange at first, but think about it:

We all carry unanswered prayers. Even Jesus does. In John 17:20-23, Jesus prayed that His followers “may be brought to complete unity.” Yet here we are divided, fractured, wounded, separated from one another in countless ways.

And still, Jesus sits at the right hand of God carrying the sorrow of a prayer not yet fulfilled. That thought comforts me. Because it means we can be honest about our own disappointments, frustrations, and grief. We do not have to pretend.

But I still believe joy is possible. Not shallow happiness. Not denial. Not pretending everything is okay.

Real joy. Deep joy. The kind that survives heartbreak.

And I’m beginning to believe that if we want to experience that kind of joy consistently, gratitude is not the only key. FORGIVENESS matters too.

Forgive your family.

Forgive your best friend.

Forgive your pastor.

Forgive your political leaders.

Forgive our country.

Forgive Israel and those who hate them.

Forgive the people who misunderstood you.

Forgive the people who never apologized.

We have heard so much teaching on forgiveness that many of us barely pause to consider it anymore. I know I haven’t.

But if unforgiveness is quietly blocking joy from flowing freely in my life…

then it simply is not worth it. So listen to your heart for a moment.

Who might you need to forgive today?

JOYPlease!

Experiencing the mystery of constant joy